Tag Archives : Letters


Friday’s Letters 1

Dear Up-North, It’s good to see you!

Dear Bath & Body Works, Stop having sales! For real. I want to resist your insanely cheap 3-wick candles, but I just don’t know if I can.

Dear Fresh Air, You exhaust me. No joke without five minutes of arriving up-north I start yawning and want to take a nap. How does anyone get anything done up here?

Dear Fish, Please let us catch you today. We will throw you back in – I promise. All you have to do is snag that worm, hop on the hook and let L reel you in.

Dear Swim Class(es), Thanks for being so fabulous and making my boys love you so much!

Dear B, It’s been so fun having you home this past week! I think I may have forgotten how much easier things are when you are around.

Dear WB, I am blown away by how good you were on that long car rise yesterday.  I will likely pay for it on the way home, but you made the way up a breeze.

Dear LEGO, Please tell me that whatever you are going to make the legos out of in the future will still snap into the old plastic legos?  Please? Because I think I may cry if they all don’t work together.

Dear Chuck E. Cheese, You’d think my kids would be over you since we JUST visited you like two days ago.  But no, your commercials are on non-stop and I still here “I WANNA GO THERE” each time we see you.  No matter that we were just there.  They want to visit AGAIN.

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Friday’s Letters 1


Dear This Week, You FLEW by! Seriously, I have no idea how, but you are already over! Wow.

Dear My Inbox, Will you ever be cleaned out? Do I really think I am going to answer those e-mails in there from two years ago? No. But for whatever reason, I cannot move them to a different folder. I cannot.

Dear WB, I don’t know why you have taken to calling me “Jenny”, but it does make me laugh.

Dear L, The party is over. Your cousins are leaving today. Luckily we will see them next weekend, but it’s back to real life around here.

Dear XFINITY, Did you seriously send me a letter telling me that, basically my cable is too cheap and you were going to have to tack on some charges to let me keep my “cheap” plan.  Hey listen, if you add on charges it’s not that cheap anymore.  I am tempted to call and discuss this with you, but I know the conversation will led to nothing other than a rise in my blood pressure.

Dear Weeknight Fireworks Lovers, You must not have dogs.  Because if you did and your dogs lost their minds every time someone lit off a firework at 12am on a Tuesday night, maybe you couldn’t do it?  I don’t think Baxter and Buddy have gotten a good night’s sleep in weeks.

Dear Keep Collective, I am pretty much obsessed with the latest time piece you are releasing today.  But how many watches does one girl (who used to hate watches BTW) need?

Dear Mom2Mom Sale, I guess I should get started on planning you. I’m such a sucker.

Dear Laundry, How do you accumulate so rapidly?  Probably because I only do laundry once a week, but still.  So.much.laundry.  And I will never get over what happens to all our socks.  Are the sock companies in on this?

Dear Up-North, We’ll see you next weekend!!!

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Friday’s Letters 0

Dear Golf, I don’t know why, buy I always enjoy watching you!

Dear Tiger Woods, What’s going on???  I almost can’t even watch.

Dear L, Yay for finally moving up to the next level in swimming! I am so proud of you!!

Dear Reality Steve, Wow. I thought I had spoiled The Bachelorette for myself by reading your blog. And then I checked your blog again for whatever reason. And well, just go check it if you spoiled it for yourself early on.

Dear Sleeping In, I don’t know why, but WB thinks you are overrated. I, however, do not. Trust me.

Dear South Korea, Why did you stop selling Oreo O’s? WHY? Or if you are still around, where are you hiding? Not in the 27 zillion stores B went to. I’m pretty much crushed.

Dear My To-Do List, Sadly you are still pretty long. Not sure why I thought I would have “all this time” to get things done while B was gone, but clearly I didn’t.

Dear Traffic Jams, I do not miss you one bit from my old commutes to and from work.

Dear Bath & Body Works, Why can’t I avoid your Semi-Annual sales?  They aren’t as good as they used to be, but I still can’t stay away.

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Friday’s Letters 7

Dear Target, I am sad you canceled my Beauty Box orders, but not too sad about those $10 gift cards you are sending me to make up for it.

Dear Advocare OTG, You are good really drinks, but I am not sure (okay I wouldn’t) buy you at full-price.

Dear Fitbit, The struggle is real trying to get 10,000 steps per day. I (just barely) missed it a few times this week and I am super annoyed with myself.

Dear L, Awesome report card! I am so proud of you!

Dear Netflix, Thank you for releasing Orange is the New Black just a little bit early yesterday. I love it.

Dear WB, I cannot believe you well you did at swimming. You jumped right into your instructors arms and listened and had a ball. And she was impressed with your skills too ;).

Dear Baxter, You’re gross. You know why and I know why and we’ll leave it at that. Also, cutting your hair is like sheering a sheep!

Dear UPS, Thank goodness for your Drop and Ship service. I was too nervous to ship the winner of the other Lilly for Target giveaway her mugs (and couldn’t find a box big enough for the bag) so I passed it along to you.  You didn’t charge me a fortune and everything arrived safe and sound.  THANK YOU!

Dear My Facebook Friends, You guys are the best.  I know I can check anytime during the day and someone has always posted something hysterical.  Never a dull moment!

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Friday’s Letters 4


Dear Swim School, WB starts next week and I am worried. For you. Are you ready for this?

Dear Tropical Smoothie Cafe, OMG I am so excited you finally opened! We used to love getting your smoothies from the location by our old condo. And then you closed. But you are back and the little boys and I loved our smoothies last night!

Dear Birchbox, When are you going to have a pop-up shop or special event here in Detroit?  It has to happen eventually right?

Dear This Year’s Garage Sale, I wish you were happening this weekend, but (as usual) I am not prepared so you’ll have to wait till August.  Because July is looking pretty crazy too.  One year I will get it together early.  One year.

Dear Car Warranty Salespeople, Okay for the 1000th time, I DO NOT still own my 2008 Sebring.  I do NOT.  I haven’t had that car in, oh, say 6 years?  So no, I don’t want that extended warranty.  And next week when you call me AGAIN asking about it, I will tell you the same thing.  No and take me off your list.  But you’ll call again. You always do.

Dear SpongeBob Movie, Okay, fine, I laughed.  You were stupid, but in a so stupid you are funny way.  Just about what I expected.

Dear PTO Ladies, I never realized how much work you all did until I volunteered for an event.  You all rock!

Dear House Hunters, I will never tire of watching you and listening to people diss houses because of the color of the paint on the walls. LOL!

Dear High School Friends, I am so lucky to still be in contact with so many of you.  I hope in 20 (OMG) years we are all still as close!

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Friday’s Letters 8

Dear Cable, I kind of, sort of love you. A lot.

Dear B, The more flowers I plant, the more I miss you.

Dear Me, What exactly were you thinking when you volunteered to Chair this carnival next year?  Really?

Dear My Friend Julie who just had Twins, Congratulations!  They are so beautiful and you did awesome!

Dear POPSUGAR + QVC, I just don’t know.  Do I want this box or not?  I clearly don’t “need” it, but do I want it?  We’ll see how busy I am when it launches and how quickly it sells out and I guess that will be the deciding factor.

Dear L, You are just a good kid.  A darn good kid.  I love you.

Dear 2015 Graduates, Congratulations!  I have been loving seeing your pictures and end of the year fun.

Dear Baseball Fan, Thanks for giving Detroit a chance and checking out the city!  It really is a cool cool place!

Dear Google, No, no one suspicious in South Korea tried to hack into my google account.  That was my husband trying to get into his account (I don’t get it either but whatever). But thank you for the 8 zillion warnings.

Dear William, I have now accepted that every night, by about 1am, will you end up in our bed. I get it. You don’t like to sleep alone.  But do you REALLY need to sleep so close to me?  I swear you are trying to push me on the floor.

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Friday’s Letters 6

Dear Long Weekend, You couldn’t have arrived at a more perfect time. I love you!

Dear Letterman, I haven’t watched you recently, but I will miss you. I always loved those bits you did with kids. Those were too funny!

Dear 1st Graders, That was quite a performance last night! You guys all nailed it.

Dear Baxter and Buddy, I do get (SUPER) annoyed when you bark only when WB is trying to fall asleep, but you two really are the best. I know you are just watching out for us.

Dear L, Your summer plans are cracking me up. I think we’ll be able to squeeze in 1) Toys R Us, 2) Chuck E Cheese and 3) the water park sometime in the next three months ;).

Dear Facebook, I don’t know what I did to make you think I was interested in this creepy clown picture, but I most certainly am NOT. No. Not at all. I really hope that doesn’t pop-up in my feed again. PLEASE.

Dear My Neighbors, Thanks for everything! You guys rock! Well, most of you do anyway. LOL.

Dear Cable TV, I think you and I are going to be meeting up again quite soon.  Apple TV hasn’t been working too well for me lately so I think it’s time.

Dear Me, Go to bed earlier.  Seriously.

Dear Orange is the New Black, Get back on my tv now!  I really cannot wait for you to return to Netflix.  Only a few more weeks!  Let the binge watching begin.  So much for going to bed early.

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Friday’s Letters 11


Dear Friday, It took you a long time to arrive this week, but I am very very happy to see you.

Dear Headaches, You suck. And Dear Allergies That Give Me Headaches, I hate you too. The older I get, the worse the allergies get. In a few years I won’t be able to leave the house all Spring.

Dear Old Friends, I love when we talk after months and months of playing phone tag, traveling and just being busy and don’t even miss a beat.

Dear My Cousin / Aunt, I am so glad you share the Lilly for Target love. Obviously this craziness runs in the family.

Dear Buddy, Sleeping on your Dad’s pillow is just fine right now, but when he gets home and realizes that his pillow smells like dog and you won’t move? Well, that will be another story.

Dear WB and L, Speaking of sleeping, let’s sleep in this weekend! Please!

Dear Technology, You are mind blowing! I can’t believe I am actually older than personal computers and cell phones. The boys are going to think I am a dinosaur when I tell them this.

Dear WB, Thanks for being such a good boy in the PTO Room this week. Just a warning – there’s more of that to come.

Dear Costco, I don’t know what I didn’t know this sooner, but you have the best pull over hoodies ever. I can only hope they are still there next time I go back!

Dear Telemarketers, Uhh no. I do not want an extended warranty on a lease car I turned in 5 YEARS AGO. But I am certain we will get another chance to discuss this considering that you call on the regular (and also insist you’ve never called me before). Update your list! That is not.my.car.anymore. Funny thing is we haven’t gotten this call on either one of our two cars that we do have right now. But that’s okay because we don’t want those super amazing extended warranties either.

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Friday’s Letters 6


Dear B, While I don’t necessarily like when you are away, I LOVE having the garage to myself and being able to park however I want.

Dear Tiger and Lindsey, I am sad you two broke up. I don’t know why, but I thought you were going to make it.

Dear Brick Seek, I love you. You have helped me find a bunch of amazing Lilly items that I never would have located without you.

Dear Chipotle, That’s all that in your guacamole? I really thought there was more. And yes, I know it’s extra.

Dear L’s Swimming Class, You continue to be one of the highlights of my week. L loves it, WB loves and it Mama gets to sit and drink her coffee with a magazine.

Dear Eric Church, I always thought you were the one who sang “Take Me To Church”. No idea why.  None.

Dear WB, I’ll never understand why you watch videos in other languages.  I know it’s Thomas the Train, but you don’t speak or understand Russian? Yet you list so so intently.  I can only wonder what you are thinking.

Dear The Drop-Off Lane, In some weird way, I am going to miss you this summer.

Dear L, I don’t know how you are going to sit through school all day knowing that your favorite cousin is coming into town in a few hours!  I am so excited for you!

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Friday’s Letters 33

Dear Mom, Now I know why you don’t love sewing. It’s hard work!

Dear WB Please, please, please let’s get rid of this cold or whatever it is that is making your nose SO stuffy and making you so crabby! For the sake of both of us! Please!

Dear My Neighbors (well most of them anyway), You are the best! What do people without fabulous neighbors do?  I don’t know and I never want to find out.

Dear “The Closet”, Now that even B has mentioned how messy you are I guess I need to get you cleaned up. I am not looking forward to this.

Dear Target, Even I think I have visited you a few too many times in the last week.  I need to sort through this Lilly stuff and see what I need to keep and what needs to get returned and stop all this!

Dear The Next Target Designer Collaboration, Please don’t happen again for a LONG time. Or better yet, be a designer I don’t like. I don’t think I am ready for another round of this madness anytime soon.

Dear My Computer Update, Thank you so much for making all of my passwords disappear.  No idea what any of those are. How do people remember this kind of stuff?

Dear B, You are going to miss so much fun this summer!  Like the garage sale, planting ALL those flowers and a bunch of other amazing chores that need to be done.  I know you’ll be sad to miss them, but we will carry on all by ourselves.

Dear L, I love seeing what you bring home from the Ticket Store at school.  So much fabulous random stuff in that store.  I would have loved that when I was a kid!

Dear That Mom in Baltimore, Lady, you rock.  You totally 100% rock.

Dear Chess, I have never once considered you to be an Olympic sport, but if you end up making it in the Winter Olympics, we all know I will end up watching.

Dear This Weekend, I absolutely cannot wait for you!  I’m hoping for a good mixture of chores and fun, but I will happily put those chores off till next week if it works out that way.

 

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