Dear Health Care Provider, That bill you sent me from January 2011 from $10.99? Yeah, I won’t be paying that. How about you get your act together and get your bills out earlier? I don’t even know what service I received 18 MONTHS AGO? Really, 18 months ago? Come on. Dear Kristen Stewart, I’ve never liked you. Maybe it’s your expressionless face? Or your smug attitude? I could care less you cheated on your boyfriend, so stop talking about it. Just STOP. Dear Target, Stop selling out of things. By the time I realize I want it, it’s gone ;(. Dear Casino, I miss you already. Like really, I do. My mom says I can come back and visit you soon though . Dear L, You are hysterical. Hysterical. Seriously. Are all 4 year olds this funny? What’s better is that it’s not intentional. Dear W, I don’t know what it is about your bouncy seat, but every time I put you in there you go buck wild. You kick and kick and kick like crazy. In a good way though. Dear B, While I would also like to know how fast Buddy runs (he’s FAST), I’m not sure we should ask our neighborhood policemen to clock him on their radar guns next time they are in the neighborhood. They kinda maybe have other things to do. Dear Lady at the Warrior Dash, Thank you for informing me that my baby should have sunscreen(*) on. I had no clue that it was necessary. What would I do without people like you?
(*) In case you are wondering, he did.