1. Is it normal to lie about your age?
Yeah, I think this is normal. I don’t lie about my age because I really don’t care, but I know people do it all the time. Young people lie to say they are older. Old people lie to say they are younger. It all seems so crazy!
2. Is it normal to have mistaken someone for the opposite sex?
Why yes, this is very normal. I don’t think I have ever made the mistake to their face, but I know I have thought it. Is that a man? No wait, it’s a woman. No, it’s a man. Hmm, I’m not sure…..
3. Is it normal to go #2 in a public restroom?
I do not think this is normal, but clearly lots of people do. In fact, this was very common at my office and it drove me insane. Umm, hi. You just got to work 20 minutes ago and now you need to drop the kids off at the pool? Really? I feel like women do this because they don’t want to go at home when their husband / boyfriend / whoever is there. For men I would guess it’s totally common. And for kids, I think it’s super common.
4. Is it normal to sit RIGHT NEXT TO a stranger at the movie theater?
Not normal. I don’t really want to sit next to any strangers, anywhere. Movies, a bus, an airplane, etc. Heck, sometimes I don’t even want to sit next to my husband. Why would I want to sit next to some random?
5. Is it normal to lie about your weight?
Totally normal. I’m not sure why we lie, but we do. But I am guessing the places that ask for your weight know everyone is lying anyways. I don’t see why they even bother.
6. Is it normal to sing and dance in the car?
Yes! When Call Me Maybe comes on, L and I dance like crazy! He’s a super good car dancer. B actually is too. Sometimes L will insist we all car dance. And we do! Can you be in a bad mood while car dancing with a 4 year old? I think not!
7. Is it normal to take self-pictures in public?
No. Not normal. So not normal. Oh look, I’m at Nordstrom. Now look, I’m at Brio eating pasta! Still at Brio having dessert. Super. No one cares. Don’t even get me started on Instagram and people posting eight million pictures of themselves. Right after each other.
8. Is it normal for women to have a gun license?
Sure why not? I have no need one for, but I wouldn’t think it was abnormal to get one.
9. Is it normal to post pictures online of yourself in a bikini?
No, no, no!!! Well, I can see if you are posting group shots from your beach trip or whatever. But pictures of like just you, taken by you? No. You better have a damn good reason for posting. Like, hey, I got new boobs, want to see? Or, I just lost 9,000 pounds and am so proud. Otherwise, just post “I think I am SO HOT” and spare us the pictures .
10. Is it normal to like the smell of gasoline?
Totally normal. This reminds me of a story about, well, about me. A year or two ago, I stopped to get gas on my way to work. I’m not exactly sure what I was doing when I was pumping my gas, but I clearly was NOT looking at the nozzle. I had it set to auto fill (or whatever you call it) and was cleaning junk out of my car or something and was like wow, this is taking forever. And I look to find to gas spilling out of my tank, out of the nozzle, everywhere. It was a hot mess. I had to walk through basically a puddle of gas to shut it off. Did I mention it was a mess? I told the attendant that the pump as broken left reeking of gas. And hoping no one lit a match. And then I drove all the way back home because there was no way I was going to work smelling like an arsonist. Lesson learned.